Five Things I've Learned From My (Lack of) Experience in Dating

1. Clean your ears

I learned this one the hard way. There was nothing more embarrassing than when the guy I was dating stuck his finger in my ear to tease me and remarked in the most disgusted way, “Damn you should clean your ears once in awhile.” Even the thought that he got some gnarly ear wax makes me cringe. I never felt more gross and unhygienic in my life - I just hope to dear God that this was not a contributing factor to the relationship ending (although I fear it may have been). In my defense, I had always swam year round up to that point and so cleaning my ears was not a priority since my ears were cleaned every day when submerged in water for two hours at practice. I also blame being Asian - it's probably because I'm Asian, right? But nonetheless, clean your ears or else you’ll end up embarrassed feeling really gross when your significant other decides to stick his/her finger unexpectedly in your ear. (I now clean my ears every day. Thanks, ex).

2. Kissing in the rain is not like in the movies

We all imagine ourselves as the main characters in iconic movie scenes. Like, Breakfast at Tiffany’s when Cat goes missing in the rain and Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck go looking for him and romantically kiss in the alley ending up happily ever after. Yeah, scenes like that are not as romantic in real life. I tried my share of recreating movie scenes or "cool" things every couple should try like kissing romantically in the rain. It sucks. You just become grossly wet and moppy as the rain downpours until you can't see even if you tried. On top of that you now have to balance the rain in your mouth with his/her mouth moving. No, try it once if you wish, but it’ll never be as awesome as it is in movies. I bet even Hilary Duff and Chad Michael Murray in A Cinderella Story had a rough time with that oh so glamourous kiss at the very end - mark my word. Plus, your shoes get all wet and there's nothing worse than walking back to your car/house with gross damp feet.

3. It’s best to avoid liking his/her siblings at all costs

At least try to….or just don’t meet them at all until you really have to. When you break up, you break up with not only the guy/girl but with his family. It becomes slightly awkward running into your ex’s family because they don’t actually have any connection to you whatsoever anymore. Like, do I still say hi to them when I see them? Do I still like their Instagram photos and/or their new profile picture on Facebook? I thought one of my ex’s brother was (is?) so cute that I stored a million photos of him on my phone. As someone who rarely deletes photos, it’s just now weird to think that I photos of a four year old boy to whom I don’t speak and never will on my phone. Creepier still that some of them are photos that he took of himself on his iPad (What four year old has an iPad, first of all?!) that I sent to myself. Think of it, I should probably delete those pictures now. Anyway, my point is, don’t like the siblings of anyone you’re dating until you’re legit about to marry them...or at least try not to. The breakup will be lots cleaner, I promise.

(But I admit: let’s be real. It’s still going to happen.)

4. Keep your favorite song a secret

If you’re like me and make lists of your favorite songs, don’t share your top five to someone you’re dating until it gets pretty legit. I shared my #3 favorite song to someone I was dating and now every time I hear that song, a little part of me cries because it’s ever so slightly tainted with the thought of him and that is just not ok. Do I want to be dancing in the moonlight with his face popping up every time? NO, not really.

5. Drunk snapchatting/texting is the worst

UGH. I have been the biggest offender of drunk snapchatting and texting my exes. It has turned into such a problem that I downloaded some dumb ap on my phone called, “Drunkmode” that is supposed to keep me from texting any person I don’t want to by “deleting” their number for 24 hours. It doesn’t work - fuck the $1.99 I spent on that. (But actually, that’s how desperate I was to stop my drunk communications). The mornings after I went out/drank were awful - to look through my texts from the night before and just see blue on blue on blue (sorry, non-iPhone users, but basically it means I did not get any replies) of just me saying the most ridiculous things still makes me want to cry. Worst occasion on New Years Eve when I drunk texted a kid I had a crush on, stating that I had feelings for him and that I hoped he had feelings for me. Well, first off I addressed him as George - his name is not George. Then I attempted to correct that mistake and said and as a direct quote, “/Jake.” No, his name is also NOT Jake. Needless to say, I got over that kid quite quickly after that. Yeah, so basically turn your phone off and put it away. If you’re anything like me, you’ll definitely regret anything you say whilst drunk.


Basically, the conclusion is: don't date. Because when you don't date, you have no problems.

The New Year

14 THINGS TO "TRY" TO DO THIS YEAR 

The New Year comes with new expectations, goals, and hopes, all of which are about as attainable as my hopes of a 4.0 GPA. But still, the cliche of a new beginning holds true and it's never too late to start fresh. 

1. Try New Foods

Culture often lies in food and sometimes to broaden one's scope of the world is simply to try and appreciate another country's cuisine. Just as your palette is (technically speaking) able to taste multitudes and layers of life, so to is your mind. 

2. Don't Force Love

Love isn't something that is sought in the same way one might look for a dog or car. But it also doesn't just plop itself on your doorstep waiting for you to open the door and find it. Sometimes, it's just a matter of being in the right place at the right time. Of course, this doesn't mean to stop texting that person you have a crush on or flirting with that person in your 11 a.m. lecture, but don't hold expectations. Maybe you'll find someone worth your love this year...or maybe you won't - and that's perfectly fine too. 

3. Laugh In Private 

True happiness can be found in the comfort of your own room. How often it feels as if laughter is the proof to others that you're having a good time. Try laughing by yourself and prove to yourself just what a good time you're having in life - you just may surprise yourself by how many good memories you truly have. 

4. Listen to Music 

We all listen to music in these day and ages, but are we actually listening or is it becoming background music? Take time to enjoy music like they used to by staying still with no distractions. The next time you hear your favourite song may be a slightly new experience. 

5. Eat Healthy For Health's Sake

Forget the gimmicks to lose weight or achieve a toned stomach. Try eating healthy foods because that will make you live healthier and longer. It's that simple of a reason.  

6. Spend an Hour in Silence 

Each day, spend an hour in silence, meaning no distractions of phones, television, computers, technology, and people - just yourself. This can be during a commute to work or for the busy college student, during breakfast or the time encompassing your shower, night routine, and bedtime. It's surprising how much time is spent on communicating with people you will probably see in/have seen in ten minutes or on Instagram fueling internally major  "FOMO". The beauty of silence is that it allows for thoughts, be them uncomfortable, sad, or happy, to be surfaced. Don't be afraid of these thoughts; after all, they're what make you- you. 

7. Wear What You Want 

Taken from the musings of another. Now is the time to wear whatever the hell you want. Despite you're belief in your physical shortcomings, we all need to face it - this is probably the best our body will look before the wrinkles, sagginess, and bagginess. If you have short legs and think you can't rock the booties, try them anyway. If you want to wear leggings or a skirt, don't try and justify a reason - just wear it. Experiment with trends before it's just too late for you to be forgiven for your fashion faux paus. 

8. Drink More Wine

Enough said.

9. Save Money

Oh for practical's sake. It may seem lame now, but you just never know when your money will be needed for bigger things than that $200 Lilly Pulitzer dress. 

10. Call Home 

There's nothing that parents love more than a phone call from their children. Your reassurance to them that all is well, despite your reckless nights of drunkenness and missed Chemistry lectures, means more to them than a scholarship of $10,000... though it may not seem that way. There's always time to call home. If you have time to pee, you have time to call. Actually though. 

11. Write Letters 

Being old-fashioned is never out of fashion. There's something far more romantic, personal, and special about seeing a person's handwritten thoughts to you than an email or voice-mail. 


12. Write Fake Letters 
Before this is taken the wrong way, let me explain. This letter is for the person to whom you wish to tell a million things, your sentiments, your feelings. Take time to write a letter to that ex and never send it. One day you can read that letter and realize how time has distanced you from him/her and what a different person you are- you've loved, lost, and learned. Or maybe by fated circumstances, you've been brought together and he/she is actually the love of your life and the letter becomes part your lovely history. Or perhaps, write a letter to yourself. Put it somewhere safe and open it one day. You'll realize how much you've changed, for better or worse. 

13. Change a Lightbulb
Sometimes we forget the true genius behind the most mundane things in life.


14. Use Lotion
Simply because I always forget and regret it.