the Awkward, the Innocent, the Amusement, the First

The Guys of High School Past 

The topic of today's fro-yo date with my best friends as the classy young adults we are. 

The Awkward

This is the first guy  to notice that I'm more than academics and a horrendous bob haircut, all beginning with some childish flirting in pre-calculus. The relationship progresses when I found out we both have sixth free and soon enough,  I'm his girl, defined romantically when we start to play "Words with Friends" exclusively and sitting with him and his other friends in the library. By April, I'm his main girl when he asks me to the Semi two days before the dance. The semi is a reminder of his awkwardness, supported by a tie that is far too short for him, him ditching me at the dance, and his mom driving us home from the diner that all the high schoolers flood toward after school dances - good times. We continue this great relationship into Junior year, resulting in us going to Junior Prom together. He ups his love game by asking me somewhat more eloquently to go with him, making me think that things will be smoother and less awkward this dance around. But when I try to make conversation in the car ride there by saying, "I love this song" to what is playing on the radio and receiving "doubt it" in response, I know the hopes of a successful night are slim to none. With no surprise, we part ways at the dance and to where he goes I will never know. Junior Prom then consists of me asking people, "Where is my date?!" and doing the cha-cha slide. Can I get a what-what for an awesome time? Since then, we have laughed about these memories and remained friends, continuing to form more awkward and hilarious memories. 

What I have learned... 

Embrace the awkwardness that comes with every first failed high school relationship. Also that  just because you find a cricket in your bathtub fairly disgusting and worthy of sharing, your boy of interest may not think so and may then choose to ignore that text. Moreover, most boys have no idea how to dress until college (if even then) and will choose to wear sweatpants to school no matter how ugly those elastic cords are. 

The Innocent

This is the first guy I label as my "boyfriend." We spend a lot of time watching t.v... like a lot of time. We go to Subway often for some hoagies and make a ton of chocolate brownies - cue romantic music here. Oh, we also hack each others' Facebooks and make silly comments like, "poop" on photos. Kissing is at a minimum and our biggest date is to the beach for the day - such grownups we are. The breakup is innocent and awkward as ever and after 1-2 months of innocent fun, we move on to bigger things...like Senior year. 

What I have learned...
Just because you think someone is cute, doesn't mean great conversation comes with the package. That's pretty much it. Also, the owners of Subway don't like it when you stay in their shop when they're trying to close up. Just because you've just been broken up doesn't mean they won't still yell at you - they're merciless. 

The Amusement

After being on such a great "high" from the last relationship, I am ready for the next big thing. Enter, the guy who ends up being the biggest regret in terms of relationships in my life. When I'm asked out, I reply, "Sure, thanks!" What was I thanking him for... liking me? Right, smooth. Bring out those glasses and cheers to my clearly great start to a great relationship. Weeks, perhaps four, pass and I'm ready to get out of it. There's nothing wrong with the boy, but there just is nothing there. Well, at least it was fun while it lasted - the thrill of the hunt!

What I have learned...

No stage-five clingers allowed. When you break up with a guy after only several weeks, he'll hate you for the rest of the year until New Years Eve after a semester in college when he cheers you on while you puke your guts. Then, all is forgiven and put to the past. 

The First

This is the guy who becomes my first love, some may say. He sits two tables away from me in Calculus the majority of the year with his head buried in his work, quietly muttering "shut up" whenever I attempt to have a conversation with the teacher. Until April, he's pretty irrelevant and I only see him as the awkward gangly Junior who tries just a little too hard in life, including gym class. But a college trip to UNC, lengthy text conversations, and hundreds of snapchats later, feelings get real, albeit I'm still caught up with prom drama and another guy. His first text hinting at how he feels consists of some John Mayer reference, as true to his character as can possible be, and makes me reevaluate our friendship... and the ball gets rolling. For the sake my sanity and my privacy, I'll keep details to the bare minimum. The next two months are intense and as cliche as any high school relationship can be with kisses plenty. After a great time, we separate when he leaves for summer courses at a university all the way across the country. Summer distances us and I then leave for college, putting our relationship officially in the past. 

What I have learned...

The next guy I date has to be capable of helping me with my homework. No matter how much effort is taken to distance yourself from a guy - be it physically and emotionally- feelings will remain as long as they wish with no rhyme or reason, despite your desire to suppress them. Love is never logical or timely, and if one of these two - timing and passion- are lacking, the relationship is doomed. I lacked timing, and perhaps he lacked passion, but regardless fate did not believe in us. The cliche holds true that it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. Life is hard. And last but not least, good things come when you least expect it.